Are you dressing up for Halloween this year? Yeah, us neither. 

We're willing to admit it might be a little fun to recapture that childhood tradition, though... AND we're willing to admit that when it comes to business leadership, most of us don't limit our "dressing up" to the month of October, anyway. We all wear costumes, day in and day out.

As leaders, we learn to slip into different roles depending on the room we walk into. To the board, we wear the costume of confidence. To our teams, the costume of composure. To our families, maybe even the costume of “everything’s fine” after a day that was anything but.

Costumes are useful. They can give us courage when we don’t feel it. They allow us to step into situations bigger than we think we can handle. But costumes also come with a cost. If we wear them too long, we forget what it feels like to step out of character and just be ourselves.

Here’s the paradox of leadership: everyone looks to you to have the answers, yet no one tells you how lonely it can feel behind the mask. It’s why so many CEOs quietly carry exhaustion, stress, and isolation even when their companies look successful from the outside. (And it's why we HIGHLY recommend seeking out community, sooner rather than later.)

So what do we do with our costumes?

1. Recognize when the costume has become the person.
A role that once served you can eventually start to define you. If you always wear “the fixer” or “the visionary,” you might forget you’re more than the problems you solve or the goals you set. The first step is noticing the moments you’re performing rather than showing up as your whole self.

2. Choose safe spaces where you can take it off.
Every leader needs at least one place where the costume comes off. A peer group, a mentor, or even a close friend can become that mirror that reflects not your performance, but your person. That kind of community lightens the load and sharpens you for the long haul.

3. Remember that strength isn’t only about what you project.
Sometimes your most powerful leadership moment isn’t when you walk in wearing confidence—it’s when you admit you don’t have all the answers, and invite others into the process. Vulnerability creates connection, and connection creates trust.

The best leaders we’ve met are masters not of wearing costumes but of knowing when to take them off. They don’t abandon responsibility; they embrace authenticity. They recognize that the costume can serve a purpose, but only when it doesn’t replace the person underneath.

So: what costumes do you wear—and who gets to see you without them?